no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
