when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
