I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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