I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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