I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
