Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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