This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she smelled like a LAN party
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
