i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
