ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
