Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize