You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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