I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
