friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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