my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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