hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
