Will you blow on my dice?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize