Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
