you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
