I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
