HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize