Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
