The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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