He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
