I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
