8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
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