i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
