If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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