I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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