quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
