I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
