Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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