I wish I only lived at night.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
