Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You made out with two different species that night
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize