its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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