it was like his penis was on wheels.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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