windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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