i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize