census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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