I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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