I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
