three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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