Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
