So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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