He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize