come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
