I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
