Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
