I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
