bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
