If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
