Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
