Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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