we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
