You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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