I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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