We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
