Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
