just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
