I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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