She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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