i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize