She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
