Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize