Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
time to smoke my breakfast
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
