I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you didnt know i had herpes?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize