Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
