the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
