i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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