i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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