my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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