and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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