idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
