We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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