is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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