If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
