you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
